Thursday, May 31, 2007

25 Going On 80

My aging began last night. I prepared for the next day and had set my alarm to wake up early so I could go running. I even told my friend that I had to sign off the internet so I could get my 40-winks in. I went to bed feeling healthy and excited that I had motivated myself to turn in so early.

At some ungodly hour I woke up and felt a cramp in my foot. I changed my sleeping position and went back to dreamland. When I woke up at my scheduled time to go running my little cramp had turned into intense pain. I knew a) I would not be running b) I needed find a podiatrist to see me before the closing bell. I found one to see me in the afternoon so I limped to work. Work sucked because not only was I in pain but now all my co-workers wanted the skinny on what happened. "Rhino stepped on me" was popular substitute for "I'm not just gritting my teeth in pain so take a hint and buzz off." Advice: offer to get a hurt person a cup of water or find a way to help before you get a good story. It is more likely to come off like you care.

I hobbled into the doctor's office (you know it is bad when an elderly man offers you his walker. I promise I did not make that up), flirted with the 40+ year old nurses, made jokes with the doctor, and found out I have Gout. Mmm fun. For some reason reminds me of tiling. Got a prescription for arthritis medicine, left the doctor, blamed my parents for bad genetics and the worlds problems, picked up lunch. When I got home I found that I could use my golf putter as a cane. Sat around with my feet propped up trying to decide if I was too hot or too cold.

Eventually I mustered up the strength to run to the drug store using my new found putter-cane to walk around. I found it would only take 10-minutes to get my order filled so how did I kill the time? Blood pressure machine. Got my meds and complained about prescription drug costs. I somehow eased my way into my car and leaned over the steering wheel to take pressure off my foot.

When I got home I reflected on how I had aged. Pain, flirting with 40-year olds to make me feel young, taking arthritis medicine, used a cane, checked my blood pressure while waiting for a prescription, and then leaned over the steering wheel while driving. So while I am 25 I had the behaviors, mannerisms, and aches of an 80 year old and the maturity of a ten year old. I think the only thing I did not do was make a grilled cheese sandwich and yell at the raucous youth. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Nightline: Atheism vs. Theism

Recently there was televised debate between Atheists and Christians on ABC's Nightline. It was very worth while watching. You can catch the debate in broken up segments at:

I think both sides made very good and well thought out points. I think both sides failed to directly answer the questions or arguments posed to them and both sides failed the other to respond effectively. While I think Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron are well meaning and good hearted individuals, I do not think they were the best for a scientific debate on God but at least they rose to the challenge and I do think their love of Christ was shown compassionately and not fundementally.

If you have read my blogs before you know I think atheism is the most foolish venture because absence of proof is not proof of absence and I have had an experiential relationship with the living God.

That being said, my heart was broken by the attitudes of the atheists making the arguments and the people in the crowd. Kelly violently chose the possibility of Hell over the possibility of one day with a "megalomaniac" for a God. Now I understand Kelly could speak that in ignorance because a lack of belief in God is also a lack of belief in Satan. But she said that statement when asked what would happen if she was theoretically wrong. If she bought into the theory of there actually being a God and Satan, why would one chose to reject God in favor of Satan. She spoke of injustices attributed to God but if God is a "megalomaniac" and called good how much worse is Satan? Why ever choose him?

I was hurt even more by the mocking and jeers from audience members. I was not hurt because I was offended or I found it rude, I was hurt because I know they are lost and broken and the one thing that can pull them out is the one thing they reject.

power. Biochemist Michael Atheists put so much stock into re-workable scientific theories and tend to believe that Earth and life was created out of a succession of remarkable chances. However, the random probability of life being simply born out of chance requires a lot more faith than belief in God. Mathematically, for one protein molecule to randomly form is a chance of one in 10 to the 65thBehe said that the possibility of linking together enough amino acids properly to create just one of many protein molecules to sustain life would be comparable to asking a blindfolded man to find one marked grain of sand in the Sahara Desert. Three separate times.*

I don't know exactly why atheists are atheists. Perhaps it is because they have been so hurt or wounded that they do not want to believe there is a god that allowed something to happen to them. Perhaps they are so turned off by the admittedly messed up system religion has become. Perhaps they are like I was and do not want to believe a god is holding them accountable for the actions they know are wrong. But I do not think it is safe for any atheist to say that science out rules the chance of there being a creator and God.

I am not a great debater or an expert but if you have any questions please feel free to ask them and I will do my best to answer them. Grace and Peace.


Sunday, May 6, 2007

Dr. Lock?

I have had ambitions to get to get my PhD or PsyD for quite a while. Back in January I received my MA in Counseling and swore I would not being going back to school for a really long time. The list of things I want to do before 30 is quit extensive and truthfully getting a PhD or PsyD was not on there. I wanted to get married or turn 30 before embarking on that small adventure.

But recently I have grown discontent with my current situation. I am still working at the ethical complaint call center I was at in grad school while looking for my first paid counseling job. Because I am not doing any counseling I cannot make any great strides towards getting licensed and because I am not licensed it makes it more difficult to get a counseling job. I am single, so marriage is not in the real near future. Furthermore, over half of the books I read now pertain to some aspect of counseling or psychology.

As a result of where I am in life, I have begun to seriously take a look into going back to school and get my doctorate. I have started to look at various programs as well as talked to people who have recently completed their doctorate or are currently working on it. If I wanted to get started, I probably couldn't until Fall 2008.

Part of my motivation to get my doctorate right now is that I am really not doing anything else so I might as well be making pathways in my future. But I am torn. Part of me believes I am running away from the current hum drum of my life to something that would at least keep me busy. I think I should try to get some more work experience and make headway into my career before going back to school. The other part of me worries that if I wait, I will miss out on a window opportunity and later on in life I will want to get my PhD or wish I had it. Unfortunately I may be at a point in life that does not give me the time or resources to complete my degree.

I think it is going to be a crap shoot either way and at some point I have to roll the dice. I would be interested to get your thoughts. I am not looking for you to direct my life but maybe to just hit me with some thoughts I currently can't conjure up.